>> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy faon," everybody. happy tuesday to everybody here. happy tuesday. over the past week, congressmen have been holding town hall meetings across the country. they've been disrupted by angry protesters who are against obama's new health care plan. and things could have gotten violent, but nobody could afford to get hurt. so, it was very peaceful protesting -- [ light laughter ] you guys see the video of hillary clinton yesterday? she was -- she was in congo and a student asked her what bill clinton thinks about international finance and -- get ready. check this out. look at this. >> wait. you want me to tell you what my husband thinks? my husband is not the secretary of state. i am. so, you ask my opinion? i will tell you my opinion. i'm not going to be channeling my husband.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: in hillary's defense, she was exhausted from her trip to north korea to rescue -- oh, wait that was bill. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think she might be the whitest lady to ever do a neck roll. [ laughter ] "you asked -- if you want to know about --" hey, brooks -- hey, brooks & dunn, the biggest selling duo in country music history announced on their website they'll be breaking up after 20 years together. [ audience aws ] brooks said "i'm done." and dunn said -- "see why we're breaking up, you guys?" a division of barnes & noble is being sold for $596 million. it looks like it's a done deal, although the buyer may just come in, read a little, use the bathroom and then leave. so, you never know --

[ light laughter ] that might -- i read that illinois just became the 17th state to ban texting while driving. so, if you are going out with your friends, make sure you have a designated tweeter. [ light laughter ] big news for "american idol" fans. simon cowell is going to be re-signed for at least three more seasons. cowell was so excited. his nipples actually tore through his shirt. he was -- [ laughter ] [ as cowell ] "i don't even know what to say." saturday began new york city's summer streets. it's an event held over three saturdays in august. and streets are closed for traffic from 6.9 miles from brooklyn to central park. just closed. the event is also known as -- "what the hell is going on up there?! move it! who closes a frickin' bridge?" people still talk like that. anywhere -- it's just ridiculous. hey, everyone is talking about last night's teen choice awards. you guys see that one? miley cyrus danced around what looked like a stripper pole on top of an ice cream cart.

[ laughter ] now, to be fair, miley said it wasn't a stripper pole. it was a purity abstinence pole. so -- [ laughter ] during her performance she was wearing short shorts, a tank top and biker boots and said this represents where i come from. [ light laughter ] apparently, miley cyrus comes from britney spears' house. [ laughter ] i didn't know that. and finally, this is crazy, a russian woman threw a coffee mug at the mona lisa, in paris, 'cause she was mad that she didn't get french citizenship. even people who want to be french are rude. [ laughter ] ladies and gentleman, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. very good. going to be a good show tonight.

i'm very excited. from the new film "spread," ashton kutcher is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] a very funny dude. he's a great guy. wwe superstar triple h is joining us tonight! [ cheers and applause ] i love him. he's an old pal from "snl." and we have bat for lashes gonna to perform tonight. it's going to be great. yeah. i love that. it's going to be a good show. triple h is one of the biggest stars in wwe. we mentioned him awhile back when he first started our show before we went on the air. we started as a blog. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] no, no -- i don't want you to clap for that. we started as like videos on a website that was -- that's still latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. we were putting things together. the floor wasn't here yet. we were about to build the chairs you were all sitting in now and it was just like a model of the studio. i actually just said that we'd love to get triple h to come through these trap doors that we have.

we have a clip of these. it seems like so long ago. look at this. >> jimmy: people can just pop up. we can have people rise up. say we have triple h on the show we can have him ride out to through smoke machines. i think it's another cool thing that we can do with the show. that was another cool thing we can do with the show. [ laughter ] everyone was talking about it. [ laughter ] and we actually -- but i'm excited say triple h is actually here on the show. so it is -- but we won't have smoke machines. but either way -- oh, we might. who knows. it's just exciting that we have him on the show. i'm happy that he came tonight. you know, one of the great things about being a late night host is i've gotten a chance to hone my people skills. you know, i think i've gotten really good at telling what people are thinking just by looking at their faces. which comes in handy when i'm watching the news. helps me read between the lines. you know, for example, take a ow barack obama last week.

he's giving birthday cupcakes to hihe r tl is.exwh cy hi tg.'sinnkat y he's thinking. he tg,hi apin py ve h birthday to my friend and colleague helen tmas. a true icon of the white house press corps." you guys could probably figure that one out for yourself. it's pretty obvious. what may not be soio os usbv i o what helen thomas ithg.inkin she's thinking, "i was really hoping for jewelry." [ light laughter ] so, you see how this works. it's almost like i'm a psychic. [ laughter ] here's a picture -- here's arnd schwarzenegger signing california's $85 billion buetwe lt aas.ek. that s daa big y for him. he's clearly thinking --bi [ as schwarzenegger ] "i'm pleased as punch about signing this new state budget into law." [ laughter and applause ] he thinks in impressions of his own voice. he thinks in that voice. >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: that's correct. that'correct. but it looks like not everyone in that room is on the same page. for example, check out what this

guy in the back is thinking. he's thinngth, s "iat ms pen he's using?at [ laughter ] did that a-hole steal my pen again?" i'm good at this. i'm good at this. i should add it to my resume. right next to bird watching and speaking spanish. ckm a picture psychith e. thilady ie ththback there.er e's thinking, "the budget is so bad that nobody even noticed i traveled here in a time machine from 1992." [ laughter ] y ehef t ehethf oe the table, she's thinking, "i don't care what anyone says. i like the movie 'twins.'" [ laughter ] i liked it, too. danny devit!e >> steve: danny devit. >> jimmy: danny devit! >> steve: don't make fun of the 'vit! >> jimmy: i know. as you can see there's more going on in these photos than meets the eye. i'm so psyched to spell it out for you guys. i don't mean to brag, but i really think i'm good at this. let's take a look at another one here. here's bill clinton in north korea last week. piis is aeaurl picte, by the way.wa [ laughter ]

negoe ated the return of those aurcanejon nalists. it's a huge news story which is why he's clearin tnk-hijo-g - [ as bill clinton ] "this is a proud day for america." [ laughter ] he, of course, also thinks in impressions of himself. ssuslehaiobv is what the guy behind him is thinking.o thinking, "i'm in g, wrong book club meet innk. e'le,s hft guy on het, "hi h ft ftthinking, "why isn't anyone ea e vndwahi?"bet tht an ul das wave behind us?" r lghte ] l that other guy.omrokss oo inking, "this room looks like it was decorated by a gay sea monster." [ laughter ] makes a good point there. it's pretty incredible how i'm able to do this, isn't it? >> steve: have you been to the police? you should go to the police. >> jimmy: you should see people's faces. i mean, their jaws are dropping. is the shthow iat "dinc's e"re ow on? would be on the show. iatt'ths increbl th here's another one. this is for all you sports fa 's rehe tiger woods. he just hit the ball agehee' t e. olhre t"g,t gehe "in tin ole."in" atbuhet wh t's guy behind him tthinking. in urofofco se, he's thinking,

"that's what she said."co [au]ghter te clearly, what you would think of onmesoe's thought. [ applause ]me then there's this other guy. ohek teratth o guy there. he's thinking, "this is even more bin wg thanthatching golf on television." [ laugerth ] and what about the guy in the r.so he looks kind of bummed out. what's he thinking?r. "i've wasted my life." [ laughter ] okay, very good. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: he's thinking, "i wasted my --" i'm not quoting him. >> steve: i'll be the host of "that's incredible." i can get it on the phone. maybe they need to redo "that's incredible" again. just to put this on it. >> jimmy: you still thinking about "that's incredible"? >> steve: i am. >> jimmy: who do -- >> steve: cathy lee crosby the host of "that's incredible." kids, ask your folks. >> jimmy: that would be amazing. >> steve: that would be incredible. >> jimmy: that would be incredible! [ light laughter ] hey, we could start a show called "that's amazing." >> steve: oh, my gosh and you could be the first thing on it. [ laughter ] >> steve: i'm going to call zucker right now.

>> jimmy: call somebody -- yeah, call zucker and just get cathy lee crosby on the phone. let's just do one more, you guys. i can tell everyone is excited about this. [ laughter ] i'm getting a sitting ovation. i've never gotten this before in my life. [ cheers and applause ] this is amazing. this is rare for a tuesday. this is rare. >> steve: it's amazing. >> jimmy: it's not amazing. e. h incredible. er this is hillt clok at this picau ngea is hillarn cltokiiny in front of the state department. [ audience oohs ] don't even -- these guys don't have the powers i have. [ laughter ] don't act like you didn't see the joke. da t!rn i mall rewe aha s the same powers.ha [ laughter ] waanyy, that's audi foren minister prince saud al faisal hxt'tot . she's thinking.to she's thinking.g. ine'ths king, owin ethitxcg it is to be here at t state departmenadngdrsi pesithe tre he about important world issues." that's what anyone would be thinking in that situation, right? but it's tough to tell what -- apparently not, though. [ laughter ]

tough to tell what the saudi foreign minister is thinkanere t think i understand the detailed nuance of the human facial expression. but by now we can agre-- nkhat's what i do. i'm pretty sure he's thinking, "i will eayour soul." [ laughter ]l kind of an eccentric guy. [ applause ] anyway, man, i'm so exhausted using my abilities. i don't think my brain can take it anymore. we'll be right back. we'll take a break. we'll be right back with more "late night." come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey, everybody. we're right back. [ light laughter ] and we've got a new sponsor for the show. it's the t-mobile mytouch 3g. it's t-mobile's new touch screen phone with google inside. the follow-up to the g1. it's got a lot things about it. it's cool. completely customizable, has great sound, it's got great reception so no calls get dropped. it has this app called shop savvy that i like. so, you search for a product and use your camera on the phone. this is my copy of "sisterhood of the traveling pants." [ laughter ]

it's pretty beat up. i need a new copy. you take a picture. check this out. you won't even believe this. take a picture. you scan the barcode with your phone. look. it finds it. and look at that. "sisterhood of the traveling pants." you can get it on the web for a cent. [ laughter ] that is totally worth it! i will tell you right now, that is worth it. ob'sit tilei mytouch 3g with google. anit's 100% you. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (announcer) fact. kitchen grease happens. so does bathroom scum. fear not. there's lysol 4-in-1 lemon all purpose cleaner. it's better on tough grease than the leading all-purpose cleaner. the leading bathroom cleaner can't beat it either... and it kills 99.9% of germs. lysol 4-in-1. for the toughest places to clean.

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enjoy about four months of freshness with the new bounce dryer bar. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, welcome back, everybody. thank you for watching at home, as well. we here at "late night with jimmy fallon," we love gadgets and we love games. that's why it's time once again for "cell phone shoot-out!" ♪ [ applause ]

>> jimmy: okay, everybody. here's how the game works. we'll invite three people down here with their cell phone cameras. a bunch of images will flash by on the sharp 108 at a rate of six images a second and you're gonna snap a picture with your cell phone as soon as they go by. whatever you take a picture of, that's what you win. steve, what are we playing for here? >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight we have a year's subscriptioto orthopedics magazine from 1984. ♪ [ scattered applause ] a used tuba, mirrored sneakers, a 46-inch sharp aquos tv and doughnuts for the entire audience. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy? >> jimmy: you are saying someone might win doughnuts for the entire audience, steve? >> steve: that's right. if someone wins that, everyone in the audience will get a doughnut and they'll be handed out by the pages. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. there we go. let's bring our contestants out. who do we have playing "cell phone shootout" tonight?

>> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's contestants are jerry garcia, anna stevens and brendan garrity. ♪ get your cell phones cked and ready and get down here! ♪ >> jimmy: hey, buddy. how you doing, buddy. what's your name? where are you from? >> jerry garcia from annandale, new jersey. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jerry garcia. can i see your i.d.? [ laughter ] is it really? you're jerry garcia? [ laughter ] >> it might say gerard, but i go by jerry. >> jimmy: you see it? "gerard garcia." we'll have to bleep out your numbers and stuff. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: i don't want your identity stolen. [ laughter ] now, quickly, what is your atm p.i.n. number? [ laughter ] we'll bleep it out. what prize are you going to go for, jerry?

>> that television. >> jimmy: really? >> oh, no, the doughnuts. >> jimmy: no -- [ cheers and applause ] there you go. we know where your heart lies. you n't care about the audience eating, but, okay, you want to see it in hd. okay. very good. what's your name, where are you from? >> i'm anna stevens. i'm from dayton, ohio. >> jimmy: very good. and anna, what prize are you playing for tonight? >> i'm playing for e tuba. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, i'm a music education major. >> jimmy: music education major? so you know what to do with that old tuba? >> yes. >> jimmy: what would you do, sell it on ebay? >> probably. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good idea. contestant number three, how are you doing, buddy? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: what's your name? >> brendan garrity. >> jimmy: brendan, where're you from? >> whitman, massachusetts. >> jimmy: whitman, massachusetts, very good. now, what are you playing for? >> i'm going to go for the doughnuts for the audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. that's how you do it, jerry. >> i got it. >> jimmy: good man. all right, here you go. here's what you do -- you'll stand here and face the sharp 108. you get your cell phone ready. get it on camera version or mode or whatever you got to do. don't fire until i tell you to, okay?

i'll give the signal and then we'll go for it. all rit. so turn around, face the 108. control, can we start the loop? all right, don't -- don't shoot until i tell you. ready? aim. shoot! stop the loop! all right, here we go. let's see what we've got. player number one, let's see what you've got, buddy. >> i got the television. it looks like it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: could be "orthopedics magazine," but no, you did it. you won a flat screen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: you won "the cell phone shootout" grand prize -- ♪ the sharp aquos 46" lcd tv with full hd at 1080 p. with unsurpassed color and detail, this screen will draw you in like never before. change your tv.

change your life. congrats on your new tv from sharp. jimmy? >> jimmy: very, very good. jerry, congratulations. sure you don't want to trade it in for the doughnuts? >> no, he's got the doughnuts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. you got it buddy. there you go. let's see what you've got, buddy. contestant number two, you got the -- logo to cell phone shoot-out. [ laughter ] ♪ >> my cell phone takes like ten seconds to take a picture, so -- >> jimmy: what the heck happened? >> it's a little slow. >> jimmy: i'm sorry about that. we'll think about your consolation prize in a second. higgins, work on that -- sorry -- contestant number three, let's see what you've got. looks like you got the high five. >> steve: whoa! ♪ll el all the exhilaration of ts fiofcial congratulat y mmonjillfa. ownci mmjifallon.mm could be used for celebrating a recent accomplishment, a point you both agree on or to boost your self-esteem. it says "you've made it, buddy!" jimmy? >> jimmy: all right. you ready?

[ drum roll ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can we see that in slow-mo replay? here you go. watch it. here it comes. yes! [ drum roll ] >> steve: that's amazing. >> jimmy: that is amazing. now we talked to the judges. and i think we can all agree, you know what prize you won? doughnuts for the entire audience! [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. ♪ there you go. everybody gets a doughnut. everybody gets a doughnut. there you go. there you go, everybody! everyone gets a doughnut! thank you for playing "cell phone shootout." we'll be right back with ashton kutcher, everybody.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back. everyone's eating doughnuts in our audience. i hope you are at home as well. our first guest is an actor, producer, entrepreneur and social networking machine. his new movie "spread" opens in select theaters on friday. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome ashton kutcher. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> nice. >> jimmy: the kutch. >> it's the roots. >> jimmy: yeah! >> and jimmy! >> jimmy: yes, of course, yes. the roots and me, yes. >> what's going on? >> jimmy: it's both of us. have you -- did you survive the twitter blackout? >> yeah, i didn't even notice, man. i didn't even know it happened. like i was on a plane. and so, i wasn't like involved

in the thing. >> jimmy: you kind of made it famous -- got famous with it. >> yeah, you, too. you were an early adopter. >> jimmy: yeah, we both started. >> yeah, you were in there like right away. you get some equity, huh? >> jimmy: i got nothing. >> i didn't either. we made this thing famous. we were just talking earlier. it's like we made this thing superfamous and we -- >> jimmy: did you get a check or anything? >> no. we didn't get anything. >> jimmy: we got something from t-mobile earlier. i know that. >> yeah, well, that's cool. >> jimmy: yeah, well, i think they're still keeping our show on the air. >> but you know what i did get, is like, i get to connect with all of my fans and like we talk. and like -- and i have like really amazing, cool people that are like following my feed. and like we correspond. like, there's a woman who's like psychic that follows my feed. and she's incredible. she gives me like psychic advice like all day. i'm serious, like from like the get-go of the day. like she just starts launching psychic advice all day. it's incredible. >> jimmy: is she crazy or does it work? >> no! she's like -- today she was like, "you'll wake up. you'll get a coffee." [ laughter ]

and then she said -- she was like, "you'll go on a talk show later" and boom. and look, i'm here. [ laughter ] and she also said -- she was like, "don't wear laces in your shoes today, because if you do, they might come untied and you'll trip." no laces. i'm not even -- and i haven't tripped all day. [ light laughter ] and this woman's on point. like, i'm not even kidding. >> jimmy: she's pretty good. >> yeah. better than the weatherman. >> jimmy: she tually is better than the weatrman. >> this pillow really pushes you forward. is that intentional? >> jimmy: well, i want people to be on the edge of their seat and not know what's coming next. yeah. i might throw you a curveball. i know you're a big techie fan. what was your -- like, what got you into the stuff? were you alway-- >> i've always been like into tech stuff. >> jimmy: video games? >> yeah, like when i was a kid i had, in television. did anybody have in television? like with a paddle and it has like the thing and we had like "night stalker" and "donkey kong" and stuff.

>> jimmy: it was a weird -- like most kid had atari. some people had in television. >> yeah, at was like sort of maybe it was like the "b" version. >> jimmy: the weirder version, yeah. >> but then when i got nintendo that was like -- it, like, shifted the world for me. >> jimmy: oh, that was a big deal. >> i loved it. i still love it. i still like it a lot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: remember when you had the games on nintendo and you had to like blow in them to get them to work? [ laughter ] remember that? >>jimmy: yeah. >> like, what was the deal with the blowing in the games? like wait a second. [ cheers and applause ] no, you're like -- you'd be like superstoked to play some "contra" or something it was like -- and then you had to put it in and get it just so it touched the edge and so when it went down and like snapped in. and then your boys would all be yelling at you, 'cause they're like, "you're not doing it right." and then they would blow on it. and he's like, "pass it around." you'd yell at each other. >> jimmy: it was like a four-step process to get the game down or else you're just going to get green screen like -- to get like "tecmo bowl" going or something like that. >> oh, "tecmo bowl," are you kidding me? that was like the greatest game ever invented by god ever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was the greatest game ever. >> and contra. especially like in "contra" when you do the up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, "a," "b," select, start. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> then you get the 100 guys. and you can beat it. >> jimmy: i felt like a scientist. >> that was -- you were a

scientist! and so, was i! >> jimmy: extra high five. you didn't win it, but -- >> i didn't play the game and i got a high five. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know. did you get a doughnut backstage? >> i didn't get a doughnut. >> jimmy: sorry. we'll work on it. >> jimmy: i was going to talk about your movie "spread." >> yeah. >> jimmy: interesting movie. i love it. it's a guy who basically lives off of -- well, he's a gigolo, basically. >> sort of. >> jimmy: he gets paid in -- >> i like to call him a "social-sexual grifter." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i totally get that. that's the thing -- basically, you have sex for apartments or where you live. >> housing, cars. >> jimmy: cars as well. >> clothes. >> jimmy: clothes -- yeah. >> and a free place to watch football. >> jimmy: yeah, and you do get cable and all that stuff. >> it's sort of a common story of like the choice between love and lifestyle. and we all make that choice in some way, shape or form or another. this y just chooses sex as his lifestyle. >> jimmy: yeah, and you have wingmen and you have people setting you up for different things. >> there's like point systems. it's -- you know, there's a whole world. you don't know anything about this, do you?

>> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] not at all. so happily married. he's a virgin. >> jimmy: yeah, i really am. yeah, this is a purity ring. [ laughter ] and -- >> mine, too. mine, too. >> jimmy: oh, really? good deal. >> never slept with my wife. not yet, no. >> jimmy: well, good luck. >> still thinking about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's going to be good. we have a clip from the movie "spread." i want to show it to people. >> cool. >> jimmy: here it is. >> two shots of tequila, please. >> got them. >> where? >> 12:00. next to the girl in the yellow. laugh. >> what? >> i just said something funny. laugh. [ laughs ] >> well done. >> i try. >> any more moves? >> dance? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you were hooking her up with --

>> yeah. >> jimmy: you just wrapped another movie, too. and i heard this story. you got to tell me if it's true. you had the party, an after party, after you wrapped the movie at a six flags. rented out the whole place. >> yeah, i shot this movie called "killers and we were shooting in atlanta and we -- i rented out the entire six flags for the wrap party, so it was just our crew inside the place. the crazy thing was is, like, everybody got there, and there were like all these amazing rides like "superman" and all these huge roller coasters. people just wanted to play the carney games like those like -- you know, where you like try to ke throw the basketball in the hoop that it doesn't fit in and like get the ring toss thing. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> and so, "superman" is just sitting there and people were like taking vengeance on the carney games that they've been losing for years. because you ever go to these? you never win. it's always like some wicked -- they are showing you like a giant pooh bear that you're never going to win. so people were like super pissed. so, we opened up that section and the whole crew, like, that's all they did the entire time. and they left with bags just

full of stuff. [ light laughter ] they were just taking vengeance on the six flags carney games. >> jimmy: you could have saved so much more money if you just rented out a dave & busters. >> i know, like, it would have just been. [ light laughter ] i know. what was i think -- you know? but "superman" was fun, too. >> jimmy: no, i -- roller coasters are great. but i was going to challenge you if you don't mind. i'd love to go head-to-head in a skee-ball challenge. >> i'm down. >> jimmy: i've got a special throw that might just be pretty awesome. >> i've got a special throw, too. >> jimmy: really? >> yep. >> jimmy: maybe the loser has to tweet out to everybody their defeat. >> all right. >> jimmy: is that all right? when we get back -- >> you have your device ready? >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here we go. when we come back, ashton kutcher and i are going head-to-head in skee-ball! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ( music, words in reverse )

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody, welcome back. i'm back with ashton kutcher. we're putting our pride on the line here in a speed round of skee-ball. do you have a team name? >> yeah, i'm the bankers. >> jimmy: why the bankers? >> i'm the bankers, because i have a patented move that is banking the skee-ball off the side at the end. >> jimmy: that is totally not a patented move 'cause that is my move. and that's how i win the game always. >> that's my patented move, i'm a banker. >> jimmy: my -- all right. >> that's my team name, so i have to bank. >> jimmy: my team name is going to be "that's amazing." [ laughter ] 'cause it's going to be amazing. you're going to have to call cathy lee crosby and reinvent "that'sncredible." all right, we each have 9 balls and 30 seconds to roll them all. top score wins. here we go. we got 30 seconds on the clock. >> 30 seconds. >> jimmy: wait -- loser has to tweet "i got my ass kicked." >> "i got my ass kicked by ashton kutcher in skee-ball." >> jimmy: no, by -- "jimmy fallon." >> "by a+k."

>> jimmy: all right, here we go, man. >> boo-yah! >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. here we go. >> warming up! >> jimmy: two manly dudes going for it right here. all right. [ laughter ] here we go. all right, here we go. all right, banker. oh, we both -- >> 9 balls, 30 seconds, right? 30 seconds here we go. >> do we get a countdown? do get a -- okay. [ drum roll ] >> steve: in five, four, three, two, go! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: 10, 9, 8, 7 -- >> jimmy: wait what's your score? 700. >> your score is not 700! >> jimmy: 700. >> dude, your score is not 700 [ buzzer sounds ] >> jimmy: wait. what happened? >> hold on. your score is not 700, dude! >> jimmy: i don't know what happened, but it's amazing! it is amazing, everybody! [ chee and applause ] it's amazing! ♪ >> here, give me. no, blow on it and then do it again.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. what is the actual score? do we know? it was 300. i was hitting 50. >> how can you say it's 300? we don't know that. [ laughter ] you know what? i'll tweet it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i'm so excited. >> "i got my ass kicked --" >> jimmy: this is good tv. >> "by --" >> jimmy: "jimmy fallon." [ light laughter ] >> "jimmy" -- is that with a "j"? >> jimmy: "j," yeah. [ laughter ] j-i-m-m-y f-a-l-l-o-n. and then put, "that's amazing." [ laughter ] dude, thanks so much for coming on. >> don't hug me! >> jimmy: all right. >> "at skee-ball. that's amazing." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ashton kutcher. "spread" opens in select theaters on friday. when we come back, wwe star triple h. very good, man.

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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. hey, our next guest is an internationally renowned athlete and a 13-time wwe heavyweight world champion. you know him as a "cerebral assassin"! the king of kings! the one half of d-generation x! it's time to play the game! put it together for wwe superstar, triple h! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you for coming -- thank you for coming on. >> how awesome was that? >> jimmy: it's just every night i go -- i go -- the roots are fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] that was a great entrance, right there. >> you know, a lot of planning went into that. years of planning went into that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm just glad i didn't get stuck in the hole. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was a very tiny entrance. you're a big dude. ashton, you a fan of wwe? >> ashton: huge fan. huge, huge fan. yeah, i have a dog -- i have a chihuahua that every time you come on, it barks at the screen. like -- i don't know why. it's just your character. >> good bark or bad bark? >> ashton: just when you're on -- and it will bark until you're off.

[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you have fan across species. >> women, guys, dogs, everyone loves me. it's the greatest. >> jimmy: everyone is excited about "summer slam." >> "summer slam" is coming up. yeah, that's our second biggest show of the year after "wrestlemania." >> jimmy: august 23rd. it's on sunday. it is the summer version of "wrestlemania." >> it is our summer version of "wrestlemania." it's going to be big this year, because it's the return of d-generation x which is -- [ cheers and applause ] myself and shawn michaels. >> jimmy: who are you wrestling against? can you say? >> i'm going to wrestle against two new guys in the business called legacy, partners with randy orton and things don't look good for them. >> jimmy: yeah! you're calling them out right now. i love it. that's the way it is. >> it's no skee-ball tournament or anything. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, don't make any -- >> and we might make a deal where the loser has to tweet that they got beat at "summer slam." [ laughter ] you know what i mean? >> jimmy: yeah. that happens -- you never know. i mean, never say never.

>> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you might have to tweet in "summer slam." >> it could happen. >> jimmy: are you on twitter? >> no. [ laughter ] yeah, i don't know how to tweet or [ bleep ] or any of it. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] >> ashton: which is tweeting in the past tense. >> jimmy: oh, all right. okay, good. i didn't know -- again, i was like -- i can't help -- >> nothing wrong with that. >> ashton: a previous tweet is a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> 'cause a lot of people that do tweet are [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: no, no, no. [ laughter and applause ] that's a different -- >> aston: i was just trying to help. i was trying to help. >> that's over the line? >> jimmy: yeah -- >> ashton: i was trying to help. >> jimmy: if it was tweeted, it 'twas. it 'twas, yeah, i guess. i don't know. but --ou might be right. i've got to check my stats on that. i must say, we had the video game. we have "smackdown." and we play all the tin the office. and i always play you. because i want to win.

>> cool. >> jimmy: so -- but now i heard you have a new one coming out -- >> we do. >> jimmy: and you have some downloadable content -- >> we do. >> jimmy: where people can play as me. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's an amazing new concept, you can download the infallible jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: "that's amazing" they call me. >> that's amazing as your finisher. "that's amazing," yes. >> jimmy: you have a clip that you -- >> we do have a clip. if we can play it now. >> jimmy: here is my entrance here. ♪ here i come [ laughter ] ♪ here i come >> jimmy: a little heavier there. i look like howie mandel's brother. hey, look at that! yes! >> ashton: you look like fred savage. >> jiy: i do, a little bit. there's me and you. get ready for "that's amazing." there you go. [ laughter ]

yeah! oh, oh, bang. oh, that's amazing! wait a second. >> too much showboating there. >> jimmy: that's over the top -- roots, why are you laughing? oh, very good. that is very good. that is "wwe smackdown vs. raw 2010." this comes out soon. >> and people will be able to download the character and play them in the videogame. >> jimmy: i appreciate you coming over and saying hi to us. >> good to see you again. >> jimmy: even coming through the trap door. you're a good man. awesome, right there -- [ cheers and applause ] watch the world television premiere of "wrestlemania"'s 25th anniversary right here on nbc, saturday, august 29th. triple h, everybody.

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♪

♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we've got a big show coming up tomorrow. from "mad men," jon hamm is going to be here. from the new film "adam," hugh dancy will be stopping by, and kitty, daisy and lewis will be performing. it's gonna really good. hope to see you back here tomorrow night. first, our next guests -- i'm big fans of this girl right here. they're fresh off the highly praised performance at the lollapalooza festival in chicago. they're here to perform "sleep alone," the latest single from their album "two suns." please welcome bat for lashes, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you know my darling i can't stand to sleep alone no sweetheart in the dark to call my own ♪

♪ you're my own i can sing it i can grow ♪ ♪ but the darkness is a stranger lonely, lonely lonely low ♪ ♪ last night's parties and last night's heart has shown ♪ ♪ smiling and welling and kissing all i know give my soul, give my soul sing it free across the sea ♪

♪ lonely spell to conjure you but conjure is all i do lonely, lonely lonely my mother told me ♪ ♪ the dream of love is a two-hearted dream lonely, lonely lonely his mother told me ♪ ♪ the dream of love is a two-hearted dream ♪ ♪ they say for every heart high there must be a low low, low, low, low ♪ ♪ and every sun ascending a lonesome moon will grow, grow grow, grow ♪

♪ drive my heart drive my heart into the fire of a burning heart's desire ♪ ♪ the only spells you'll be seeing do you hear me coming in my blue dream? ♪ ♪ lonely, lonely lonely my mother told me the dream of love is a two-hearted dream ♪ ♪ lonely, lonely lonely my mother told me the dream of love is a two-hearted dream ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause 9 >> jimmy: all right. very nice. thanks, guys. thank you, thank you. wow, fantastic. thank you. bat for lashes, everybody! see them on tour in the states through august 31st in los angeles. my thanks to ashton kutcher, triple h, bat for lashes and the greatest band in late night, the roots. stay-tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a good and hope to see you tomorrow, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪